Why Angels Don't Eat Apples
by LadyAnalyn
Summary: Dean&Cas are waiting at a diner for Sam to get back from research and Cas tries Dean's apple pie and gets hooked. He starts to act like he's drunk/high. Sam doesn't think this is good so he calls Gabriel for help. Set in season 5.


**Supernatural is more addicting than Torchwood ever was and this is me officially entering the fandom by posting my own piece. **

**To start, this is just a fun little one shot I thought of the other day when I was wondering how angels felt about apples. Think of the significance, the symbolism, anyway I don't want to get into anything overly religious so I thought of a more fun reason why angels might not like apples.**

**Time Frame: Season 5 after "Dark Side of the Moon." The exact time doesn't really matter.  
**

**Summary: Dean and Cas are waiting at a diner for Sam to get back from research and Cas tries Dean's apple pie and gets hooked. He starts to act like he's high. Sam doesn't think this is good so he calls Gabriel for help.**

**You may consider this a crack!fic if you want and this is pre-Destiel and you can consider it pre-Sabriel as well if you like.**

* * *

"Why Angels Don't Eat Apples"

Sam was off at the library looking through older newspapers and Dean was enjoying the local diner's local pie. Castiel sat across from him; he was helping them out on this case because since giving up the hunt for God he had nothing better to do with his time other than help keep the Winchesters continually out of the other angels' radar.

Dean didn't mind, he actually liked knowing where Cas was all the time—just as long as he stayed out the personal space that is. The reason for it was something Dean wasn't prepared to share, hell barely with himself. But the truth was, he found that the longer Cas stayed in his personal space the more Dean wanted to act on urges he'd only recently realised he'd kept hidden in a closet.

"That smells quite delightful," Cas's gravelly voice brought him out his thoughts and he'd never been more grateful "what you're consuming."

Dean looked down at his slice of apple pie "Sure does, don't it? One of the best I've had." He gestured with his fork to the unused fork in front of the angel "wanna try? Rebellion's all about indulgence right?" and Dean had to admit, he liked the idea of corrupting an angel of the lord. Made him feel all kinds of sinful but in an oh so good way.

Cas picked up the fork "It is certainly tempting."

Dean smiled "Go on, take a bite. If you like it, I'll get you your own."

Cas reached over and put a bit of pie onto his fork "That is very kind of you, Dean. Thank you." No sooner had Cas put the bite in his mouth had his eyes rolled back in his head and…did he just moan in pleasure?

Dean smirked, that was actually kind of…no, no it wasn't hot, not at all.

Cas chewed as if he were savouring the flavour and the way his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed…no, it didn't make Dean want to loosen his belt. Cas looked back at him "That was delightful. I would like some more. Tell me what kind of fruit is that?"

"One of the best apple pies in the state of Washington, 'course it better be damn good, I mean…Cas?"

The angel's eyes were wide and he looked somewhat panicked.

"Cas, what's wrong?"

"You said apple?"

"Yeah," Dean said slowly "Your vessel's not allergic…?"

"No," Cas shook his head "it not that. It's just, apples…" he was staring at the rest of Dean's pie like it was Manna from Heaven.

"What about them?" Dean prompted while pulling his plate closer to him. Nobody took his pie.

"They're forbidden; angels, we're not supposed to have them."

"Why?" because that was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.

Cas's brows furrowed in confusion "I don't know."

"Well then," Dean grinned and signalled the waitress "what'd I say about rebellion?"

"Indulgence," Cas's eyes sparkled in a way that pleased Dean to no end "yes, I would like my own slice, please."

…

By Castiel's second slice of pie Dean was starting to suspect just why angels weren't allowed to have apples. He was chuckling at everything and wore a dopey smile like a virgin alcohol drinker on their first beer.

But it was such a nice change from the stiff and humourless angel, Dean decided to let it roll and see what happened. He might even give Cas a whole apple, see how he liked the flavour unchanged by cinnamon and nutmeg.

"You enjoying yourself there, buddy?"

Cas's eyes were bright and lively "Oh yes Dean. I never knew eating could be so enjoyable. Thank you very much, I've never felt more relaxed."

Dean smiled, "Glad to hear it. You need to let loose every once and awhile. All work and no play, makes Cas a dull boy."

Cas cocked his head in that adorable way and then said "I think I understand what you mean. Yes, I actually understood that."

"Good. You wanna try an apple in its original form?"

Cas nodded "Yes, I think I would like that."

"So," Sam had entered the diner and sat down next to Dean "I'm pretty sure we're dealing with a nest of vampires new to town." He looked at Cas and then at Dean "Why does Cas look stoned?"

Dean smirked "This apple pie is the shit, man."

Cas laughed.

…

Yeah, angels and apples, Sam decided, not a good combination. Dean may have been enjoying this "new Cas" but Sam was certain the enjoyment would be short lived. Dean told him about future!Cas and how Dean hadn't really enjoyed it.

But then present day Cas was acting for more drunk and goofy than Dean had described the Cas in the future.

"Dean," Sam pulled his brother aside in the motel room and indicated Cas who was sitting at the small table eating out of a bag of apples from the grocery store, "he's completely wasted on apples."

"I know, isn't it great?"

"Dean, I thought you didn't like stoned Cas in the future."

"Yeah because he was having orgies and popping pills because he gave up. This," he waved a hand towards Cas who seemed to be blissfully oblivious to their conversation, "is just him having a good time. He needs to after what Joshua told us."

Sam had to concede the point but… "I get that Dean, but this? He's drunk as a skunk and he's been understanding your jokes and sarcasm. It doesn't jive, man. There must be some logical reason angels can't have apples."

"Yeah because it brings them out of the dickhead shell," Dean walked over to the table and sat across from the angel "May I?" he reached for an apple.

Castiel stared at Dean's hand and the apple he was reaching for, eyes bugged out like an addict not wanting his drugs taken away but nodded anyhow "Of course, Dean, I have so many."

Sam sighed "I'm gonna go to the vending machine," he left the room. He started talking before he could think of a better solution "This is gonna sound weird coming from me. But I seek assistance from the Archangel Gabriel. You're really the only one I can trust right now…" Sam remembered that with the sigils carved into his ribs, that even if Gabriel heard him he wouldn't be able to find him unless Sam told him "I'm, uh, at the Apple Tree Inn in Spokane, Washington."

"Why should I be surprised?" Gabriel appeared leaning against the candy machine "You used to pray to me every night, before the whole ghost priest thing." The usual sparkle of mischief was gone from Gabriel's eyes and Sam felt he should be relieved at that but found he was just the opposite.

"You, uh, heard me?"

Gabriel nodded "I helped when I could, subtly, couldn't directly interfere with Lucifer's true vessel. Anyway, what do you need?" the archangel/trickster's voice was different too, he sounded depressed. Sam decided he didn't like it.

He took a breath "Why aren't angels supposed to have apples?"

Gabriel blinked and stood up straight "Say what? Why would you ask that?"

"Well, all Cas told Dean was that it was forbidden but he didn't know why."

Gabriel looked, shit, he looked like a concerned brother "Why did this even come up? I thought all they ever did was stare at each other."

Sam rolled his eyes but at least he wasn't the only one who noticed "Apparently Cas thought Dean's pie smelled good, Dean let him taste it but didn't find out it was apple till after…"

"Shit," Gabriel's eyes widened "shit, shit, shit. He had more didn't he?"

"Two more slices and now he's working on a bag of apples."

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. Where is he?"

"This way. Why what…?" Sam opened the door and Gabriel brushed past him.

"Castiel, are you out of your tiny seraph mind?" there was a flash of lightning and a clap of thunder.

Sam stepped in and closed the door behind him.

Dean stood up "What the hell is he doing here?"

"Uh…" Sam started.

Castiel giggled and looked up at Gabriel "Hello, Gabriel, do you want an apple, they're quite tasty." He then got up and wobbled over to Sam, "You told my big brother that I was eating naughty food."

"God, Sam," Dean muttered "I thought little brothers had some sort of union."

"Oh for," Sam moved next to Gabriel, where oddly he felt safest "Look at him Dean, he's not in his right mind."

"So he's a little high. I'm sure he'll come down."

"Yeah if he stops now," Gabriel grabbed the bag of apples.

Castiel immediately went to grab them back. "Those are mine! Get your own!"

Gabriel tried to hold them over his head but clearly realised that wouldn't work as Cas was taller than him. Dean had been royally pissed the day he realised he couldn't play keep away with Sam anymore.

"This is for your good Castiel! You can't let yourself get addicted to these. They're forbidden for a reason!"

"Why should something so delightful be so sinful?" he grabbed for the bag again and that sent both angels toppling to the floor—the apples as well.

"I ain't eating those now," Dean observed "have you smelled this carpet?"

"I try not to," Sam said. "Think we should stop them?"

"Let it play out. Why the hell did you call Gabriel?" Dean rounded on him.

Sam sighed "Because I wanted to know why angels can't have apples. Clearly they, at the very least, make them drunk."

"That's it!" Gabriel shouted and snapped his fingers. Suddenly, he was standing up, Cas was tied to a chair and all the apples had vanished.

Cas struggled against his bonds "Gabriel, just, just let me have one more."

"No! You're coming down and you're going to start now."

"Okay," Dean stepped closer and by the look on his face it was clear he realised just how bad the situation was "Gabriel, you wanna tell us just why apples are so bad for angels? Even Cas doesn't know."

"Because this is what happens!" Gabriel waved an impatient arm towards Cas "They make us crazy. This is why Luci went darkside, well one of the reasons anyway."

Cas looked terribly ashamed but only for a moment "I don't care, I want some more!"

Gabriel's arms were crossed "For the love of Dad, listen to yourself, Castiel. You sound like an addict and you only just started." He turned to Sam and Dean "How many has he had?"

Dean shrugged "I wasn't counting."

Gabriel rolled his eyes "Will you two leave me alone with my brother, please?"

Dean was clearly about to protest but Sam grabbed his arm "Come on, he said please" and he ushered Dean out of the room.

…

Dean shoved Sam away "Dude! First of all, you can't just lead me somewhere, you understand, Sammy? Second, what the hell, man? Calling Gabriel? Seriously? What were you thinking?"

Sam sighed in that long suffering way that got on Dean's nerves "Cas wasn't acting like himself and it was damn obvious it was the apples doing it to him. I told you, I wanted to know why."

"But Gabriel?"

"Other than Cas, he's the only angel we can trust."

"He wanted us to "play our roles"."

"But he didn't force us Dean, he didn't pursue us after we let him out of the Holy Fire and he didn't hand us to Zachariah. You heard him, he just wants the fighting to be over and I think what we said to him registered."

Dean gaped at him "You're defending him now?"

Sam shrugged "I'm just saying, we should give him the benefit of the doubt. There isn't any light in his eyes anymore, the mischief is completely gone. And it's obvious he cares about Cas, he wouldn't be yelling at him if he didn't."

Dean's shoulders slumped, that was one thing he couldn't deny "But you haven't honestly forgiven him for Mystery Spot, have you?"

Sam sighed "I don't know. He was trying to teach me something, I just wish it had been in a different way."

"So do I," when Gabriel had joined them in the hall they didn't know but there he was "I suppose that was a little extreme. Sorry."

Sam stared at Gabriel as if he'd grown an extra head "You've never really said that before."

Gabriel shrugged "Come on in, I've knocked him unconscious."

The brothers followed him back in "You can do that?" Dean asked.

Gabriel arched an eyebrow "Archangel" he said as if that should explain everything.

"Is that really the best thing to do?" Sam asked him.

Gabriel sighed "Not really but he was getting on my nerves. I'll take him with me for a few days till he recovers, wanted to let you know."

Dean stared at Cas, slumped over in his chair, head lolling "He gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine" he snapped his fingers and the bonds around Cas disappeared. Then with strength he didn't look like he possessed he picked up the taller angel and threw him over his shoulder.

"You'll uh let us know how he is?" Dean said nervously.

Gabriel regarded him and smiled slightly "Yeah, sure."

"Thanks Gabriel" Sam told him with a smile.

Gabriel nodded and winked at him then disappeared with his brother.

Dean sank onto his bed and caught Sam looking at him with a head tilt that really only belonged on Cas "What?" he snapped.

Sam sat on his own bed and pulled out his laptop "I'd say but you'd only kill me so I'll wait for you to tell me. You feel like pie?"

Dean glared at him then smirked as he laid down "Ask me again tomorrow. But I know one thing, I'll never eat apples in front of Cas again."

"Probably wise."

Dean rolled his eyes "Bitch."

"Jerk."

* * *

**Please review if you had a good time.  
**

**By the way, The Apple Tree Inn, real place here in Spokane. I was researching cheap motels and found this one, it's cheap and some suites have a kitchenette and according to the reviews it's exactly the type of place the boys would stay.**


End file.
